Rikkaidai Insanity
by Tindersticks
Summary: Crack!Fic: What does Akaya have to do with apples?  Niou on Halloween, planning a devious trick? Renji's seeing Fuji weekly? Sanada can cook? Poor Jackal is just wondering why he's the only sane one. Riight. Chapter 6 - Jackal. Beware of nosy redheads.
1. Akaya

**Title: Bananas**

**Word Count: 260**

**Rating: K**

**Pairing: MaruKiri {What's that called? Diabolical Pair?}**

**I don't know what else to put up there.**

**DISCLAIMER: The word CLAIMER is not there. Point made.**

**SUJU! SHINEE! BEAST! 2AM! 2PM! U-KISS! F.T. ISLAND! Anybody know of them? Or any other Korean groups/bands? **

**Okay, so. A few words. If you want a certain pairing with somebody from Rikkai and I have not written it, you can request for that pairing and I will do my best. Kindly give me the names to pairings that have names, and request pairings as well. *Bows* Thank you very much! **

**No offense intended on the crazy thing. Rikkai is awesome! **

Akaya toyed around with the pencil in his hand, spinning it. He boredly glanced down at his English homework, pushing his hand through his hair in frustration.

"How the heck am I supposed to know what…" He looked down, concentrating on _**Apples are red, juicy, and delicious. **_That was written down in his notes.

Mind you, Renji had been kind enough to share his notes he kept when he was in Akaya's class, so that was a plus for him.

But still.

"A-ahbbalz aarh l-led, g… juuky, an deeleeshous." He attempted to read it as fluently as possible. Just when Marui had barged into his room, too.

Said boy blinked, then started rolling all over the floor in laughter.

Akaya's face flushed, turning red in embarrassment.

"S-shut up! You try saying it!" He protested indignantly.

At that, he really did shut up and walked over. Three seconds was all he needed.

"Apples are led and deeleeshis."

Although it was still not that good, it was a lot better than Akaya's attempt.

"If you needed a tutor, you could have told me, stupid." Marui murmured, lightly kissing his cheek.

That did it.

His head fell over, steaming as his entire chair came crashing down.

Bunta grinned mischievously, blowing a bubble with his gum and trotting out of the room.

His mom quickly ran up the stairs to her son's room, worried about what could have happened. Instead, she was greeted by a red tomato. Under a chair. With black, seaweed hair and bright, apple-green eyes.

Ah, apples. What an interesting word.

**Soo… What do you think? Good? Bad? Any comments? My first reviewer will get a huge cookie and a fic of his/her own choice, PoT as the category but any pairing. It will probably be a oneshot, but if requested, might be a chapter story. Yes. A ploy to get more reviews. My fifth reviewer will have the same prize, PoT will always be the category, and they get a pairing. However, it will be a oneshot. Tenth reviewer gets the same prize as fifth review, 15****th**** review gets the same prize as tenth reviewer, etc. {Going by 5s}**

**Boy. If I get a lot of reviews for this, I'll need to write a whole lot of oneshots. Should I do by 10s? I'll decide about that. Reviewers can voice their opinions, give constructive criticism, compliment it, give helpful reviews, etc. **

**I KNOW I'M CREATING TOO MANY STORIES AND NOT UPDATING MY OLD ONES. HOWEVER, IF I DO NOT WRITE THIS DOWN, I MAY FORGET IT, SO I DO NOT WANT TO RISK IT.**


	2. Niou

**Title: Tricked**

**Rating: K**

**Word count: 228**

**Pairing: MaruNiou**

**Okay. I tried. I'm sorry if I disappointed anybody! It's super short, this one, though. **

**DISCLAIMER: The word CLAIMER would've made things a lot more obvious.**

**Anywayz, congratulations to Genocide Never Again as the first reviewer! ^^ **

Niou looked around, grinning devilishly. Nobody would suspect him here, right? Right.

All of a sudden, a voice sounded. "Eh? Niou, what are you doing here?"

He sighed. Dang that Ball of Fat. Instead of replying, though, he continued inching towards the store.

"Hello? Niou? Are you deaf or something?"

It wasn't as if he was ignoring the dude. Rather, he was just following his devious plan.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

Suddenly, Niou turned around and darted into a nearby shrub. He watched the magenta haired boy walk forward, looking for him.

Inside, he was doubling over in laughter at the expected reaction.

Slowly, quietly, he made a small rustling sound, as if somebody was there.

"What was that?"

He moved the leaves some more, creating a tense atmosphere and a stiff 'Ball of Fat.' Then, he crept out and jumped on his friend, screaming, "BOO!"

A shrill, ear-piercing shriek came out of his mouth. His eyes were wide, body trembling, and a look of pure terror decorated his face. Niou rolled around, face streaming with tears of mirth. This was just too hilarious! He should have taken a picture!

Bunta pouted. "Mou." His heart was still jumping though, half from the fright and half with anticipation.

When he calmed, down, Niou stood up and hugged him from behind. He whispered in his ear, "Trick or Treat, Bunta."

**I knoooow, I made this up when it was like, 2AM. My only excuse to offer. The next one might be better, though! Wait for it! ^~^ **


	3. Marui

**Title: Beautiful?**

**Rating: K+**

**Pairing: MaruJiroh {Sweets Pair? I dunno.}**

**Word Count: **

**I wanted to make this longer… But since I don't know how long the average drabble is… I'll just make it somewhere around 600+words, maybe… **

**DISCLAIMER: I want a cookie. :3 Do you have a cookie for me? Also, all request stories are in progress! Not mine. Unfortunately. **

Marui frowned, slowly chewing on the piece of gum he had in his mouth. It was Jiroh's birthday. He didn't know what to do. Knowing the cutesy boy, if his idol didn't give him anything, he'd be devastated.

Devastated means no love.

No love means no affection.

No affection means no care.

No care means no happy Marui.

And Marui wants to be happy.

So, he sauntered off to Gakuto. They were, after all, fellow red-heads and he didn't want to go to Eiji because he'd probably get like, a toy cat.

Besides, Gakuto is friends with Jiroh so he'll know him better.

"Mukahi."

"Whut."

"Jiroh's birthday."

"It's tomorrow."

"I know."

"Present?"

"No."

"You're doomed." With that as his final statement, Gakuto shrugged and started leaping towards Yuushi.

"Yuushi, Yuushi, Yuushi, we have an intruder."

"Gakuto, don't be impolite." Yuushi berated, then turned to Marui. "I assume your trouble is a present for Akutagawa-san?"

"Yup."

"Hm. Bake him a cake."

"Don't wanna."

"Plushie."

"Nope."

"Keychain?"

"Nah."

"Gum?"

"No."

"A kiss?"

"Hmm…" Marui appeared deep in thought at the idea.

"TOMATOES." Gakuto shouted, jumping as high as he could and crashing back down. He grinned mischievously.

"You know, Bunta, Jiroh just _**loves **_tomatoes. He eats them every single day."

Yuushi gave a threatening glance to Gakuto. _"What're you doing? He loathes tomatoes."_

"_Oh shush. Don't be such a party-pooper." _

They secretly conversed through their eyes. Yuushi face-palmed, shaking his head.

Marui brightened, not noticing the actions. "Really? That's awesome! My aunt just came in with this huge box of tomatoes, you see, so I could use them for his birthday present!"

Yuushi raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"

"Yup!" With that happy thought, he went, whistling a merry tune having thought of an idea.

Gakuto laughed. "Heehee~ Jiroh's expression will be epic."

***Uh-oh. I'm not gonna do a very good chapter. DX***

Jiroh hummed happily, twisting the wristband he took from Marui around. It was made by Wilson, and he liked to put it on his wrist going to school every day. Plus, today was his birthday, so wearing that made it feel like his day was going to be extra special.

"I wonder what Marui-kun's going to give me!" He tilted his head to the side, deep in thought. "Hmm… Maybe he'll get me another wristband? But I wanna keep this one! Then… Maybe he'll bake me a cake? That would be really awesome! Especially if the cake had Pocky as the candles, and it was covered with chocolate, and the sides with strawberry, and – oof!"

As Jiroh continued walking towards the tennis courts, he accidentally bumped into someone and fell down. He looked up in surprise, wrinkling his nose when the smell of a lot of tomatoes drifted into his nose.

"UWA! MARUI-KUN!" He exclaimed, jumping up again. "You know what day it is today?" Jiroh asked excitedly.

Marui smiled weakly, unsure of his present. He had grabbed a few tomatoes, cut them up into pretty pieces and decorated them into a pattern, sticking it into a bento box. After, he decided to make some side dishes and added some onigiri and fried shrimp.

"Y-your birthday?"

"Yeah! What's my present?" Jiroh grinned in anticipation, sitting in a position that reminded Marui of a dog wagging his tail eagerly.

"H-here. I heard you like tomatoes, so…"

The smile was completely wiped off.

And that scared Marui.

"T-tomatoes?" Jiroh whispered, a dark atmosphere falling down on them.

"Tomatoes. You got me tomatoes for my birthday." He shrunk, curling up in a small ball in a corner and drawing spirals on the ground.

"Okay…" He dragged his feet, reluctantly accepting the box and sending a pathetic look to the other genius.

"Nothing else?"

"Uhm…"

"Bye bye."

"So… Bye." Marui ran out of the place, face completely red and his body stiff.

'I don't think Jiroh likes tomatoes.' He thought, growing annoyed at the 'Dirty Pair' for tricking him so.

"Aish! That's it!" Marui put on a determined face and marched back. He saw Jiroh carefully examining the beauty of his present, a clothe clipper pinching his nose tightly.

"Jiroh."

"Hm?" Jiroh turned around.

Marui leaned in.

Jiroh's eyes widened.

Marui pulled back.

Jiroh's eyes widened some more.

Marui left.

Jiroh fainted.

Marui's head was completely red.

Jiroh's entire body was flushed.

Yuushi took a picture of the scene.

"DID THEY JUST KISS?" Gakuto shouted.

**Crack.**

**Cracktastic Crack.**

**Cracktastically Cracktastic Crack.**

**Bunnies on crack jump around.**

**I laugh.**

**I'm crazy.**

**BLAME THE CHOCOLATES! AND THE CANDY CANES~!**

**Hohoho. Happy Holidays!  
To those who celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas Eve/Christmas! ;) **


	4. Seichii

**Title: Coffee Love**

**Pairing: YukimuraX? {Guess!}**

**Rating: K+**

**Word Count: Idk. Hohohoho. It's short, though.**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately. I am not Konomi Takeshi. If I was. You have no idea how much different Prince of Tennis would be. Hohoho. XD**

**Yes, I know, I am super active. Be thankful! Muhahahahaha! Ah, yes, Deceiving Data Pair and Alpha Pair fic requests will probably be out tomorrow. Because it's Christmas, and I have all day. :D I'm going to create a 'story' of requested drabbles. So when I release them, you know where to go! **

Yukimura smiled happily, fingering the small box in his pocket. Today was the day.

After all the times they shared with one another, today was the day he will finally announce the big news.

He was actually rather nervous.

What if the other rejects?

What if he laughs?

What if he brushes it off?

What if he – Yukimura knew it was not a very good idea to have so many doubts. After all, he was supposed to trust the one he's proposing the idea to. It would be foolish to think he would do anything so cruel.

But still.

He sighed, taking his hand out of his pocket. He propped his head onto his palm, staring out the window of the coffee shop. His blue, wavy hair moved slightly from the breezes that passed by as people went in and out. Flurries of snow lightly swirled around, blanketing the ground with white stars. He supposed it would be a white Christmas, exactly what he wanted. A delicate smile decorated his face.

The merry sounds of bells ringing while families got ready for the big holiday comforted his loneliness as hours went by and the person he was waiting for has yet to come.

Sighing, Yukimura glanced at the clock. It read 9:52 PM. The shop closes at 10. Pushing backing his chair in disappointment as it screeched against the tiled floor, he resisted the strong urge to just cry.

But when the aroma of freshly-made coffee wafted around, he knew someone was there.

He knew… It was him.

His spirits lifted as his cheeks flushed, eyes twinkling with excitement and his face lighting up like a shining star. He ran towards the storage room, the owner letting him for he came there weekly.

He skidded to a half when his cherished person came into view.

Yukimura smiled, delighted by his presence. He went down on one knee, taking a deep breath, and took out the box.

He opened it and whispered, "Will you marry me?"

The other smirked a bit, then came his reply. "I was waiting for you, Seichii."

He grinned, hugging him, laughing when he murmured in his ear, "This would have been a better scene if I were the one proposing. Now, shall we enjoy some coffee on this beautiful Christmas Eve?"

Seichii's loved the drink ever since, and drank plenty of it on that special day.

**Merry Christmas Eve! ^^ Is this satisfactory?**

**BUNNY.**

**CHUBBY.**

**CHUBBY BUNNY.**

**COFFEE.**

**KOFI KINGSTON. SOS (I HEAR THEM CALLIN~) YES, I WATCH WWE. WHO ELSE? **


	5. Yanagi

**I figured I should really get another drabble out beforehand… XD **

**Title: Figures.**

**Pairing: YanaInui**

**Rating: K+**

**DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately… Prince of Tennis… Is not within my reach. I do not own it.**

Renji hurriedly glanced at his watch every so often, scribbling down as much information as his hands would allow. Yukimura had been sharing a time when he and Sanada had gotten stuck in a log cabin, and what had happened after.

He thought it might be useful in some own way, perhaps for blackmail or just for the kicks of knowing such private stories.

However, he had an appointment to catch that was ever so important.

Fuji was also a data-gatherer, though it was less obvious and he keeps all his information inside his head. Nobody suspected him to be mentally recording every bit of interesting things, for they thought, with his serene smile, he wouldn't be paying attention or would brush it off as unnecessary.

It was as easy as breathing to a healthy adult to get the latest news and perhaps some gossip for him.

For Renji, though, it required a bit more work, so he appreciated the exchange of words every Sunday.

This was why he had been hurrying to get there in time.

Did he forget to mention they always did this when they first accidentally bumped into each other 8 months, 3 weeks, 13 days, 21 minutes and 45 seconds ago? Then again, who was doing the counting? Surely not him.

A sudden vibration broke his train of thoughts.

"Renji, it seems as if your phone is ringing." Seichii smiled knowingly, pushing his cell phone towards its owner, who did not want to find out as to why it was even in the other's possession in the first place.

"Ah. I will take my leave. Seichii, Genichiroh." He gave a nod of acknowledgement and with that, slipped through the exit.

* * *

What a surprise. Instead of a feminine brunette smiling, eyes smiling, there was a blackette with opaque glasses furiously muttering under his breath as his pen tore across the paper as if there were to be no tomorrow.

He had to admit, this was most certainly an unexpected change.

"Sadaharu? What are you doing here?"

"Yo." Inui took the time to look up, pushing up his glasses as they glinted from the sun's rays.

"Fuji said he caught a cold. I believe there is only 13.37% chance this is true. The weather is fairly warm, not to mention it being spring, and he seemed perfectly alright the day before. What's more, there were no symptoms that would lead any sane person to think one sick. He had been rather healthy recently, skin glowing and his face bright. I believe this may lower the percentage rate."

Renji almost snorted at that, but he stopped himself from doing something so impolite and slid into a seat.

"88.64% chance he just wanted us to determine our feelings for each other. He had seemed strange last week, being a lot more beautiful than what was usual. It was easy to conclude he was forming a plan in his head. Also, I believe he had called me a few days ago and asked a few odd questions. Since we have been childhood friends, and the rest of our team mostly being homosexuals as well, I'm sure he suspects something between the two of us.

Inui tilted his head a bit. "A blind date? That's not in my – here it is." He flipped a few pages and circled said information with a red pen.

"Knowing the curiosity of my teammates, especially since they have done this many times before, there is a 97% chance they are hiding behind the bush that is located approximately 5ft and 6 inches away near the soda machine that is right in front of the window." He pointed. "It is apparent that there are around nine people, so some of them must be from Rikkaidai." Inui sent him a look. "Would they have followed you as well?" He grinned when rustling and arguing was heard in the exact bush he mentioned.

This time, Renji scoffed. "Keen as always, eh? You haven't changed at all."

"Nor you."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"So. Want to give me a chance?" He asked, if not a bit hopefully.

"Sure."

So the two walked out, hand in hand, smirking at the wide-eyed teenagers that were staring at them from their obvious hiding spot.

Oh, what trickery.

Fuji grinned. Plan B – a success.

**Renji is probably a bit OOC since I'm not so sure of his personality… Enjoy~!**


	6. Jackal

**Warning! This is rated T only because of slightly, slightly, slightly suggestive themes. If you squint. Nah, it's rated T just in case because of a tiny bit of the material. **

Jackal grunted in response as he continued to doze off peacefully. In his wake, Marui Bunta was sulking due to the lack of attention he had been paid.

"Mou, Jackal! What have you been doing all night long?" Marui whined in complaint. "You haven't done anything fun with me lately! Let's go to karaoke, or to an arcade or something!"

"Mm. Take Akaya with you." Jackal yawned, tears seeping out from the corner of his eyes. "I'm tired. I've been forced to watch videos all week and study for the exams that are coming up. I swear, I've pulled more allnighters this week than I have in my life. Let me sleep." He blearily drawled, waving Marui off.

"Hmph. I'm going to crash at your place today so don't you dare reject me!"

"Whatever." With that, he promptly closed his eyes and drifted off to dreamland.

Marui was left to think. "He said videos. _Videos. _As far as I know, the teacher hasn't assigned us any 'video' homework. That means…"

A mischievous grin plastered itself upon his beautiful face.

"Jackal's been watching _videos~!" _He thought to himself. Suddenly, the class bell rang and Marui jumped up, surprised.

"Ahhh, yabai! Jackal, wake up! We're gonna be late for class!" He shook Jackal's shoulders and dragged him out of the chair, up the stairs, and into their classroom. They barely made it in time.

The teacher got in and told them to take out their textbooks. Marui rolled his eyes and scribbled down a note on a piece of paper, telling his classmates to pass it down.

_Wat vids u watchin? _

He eyed Jackal reading it and sneered, eagerly awaiting his response.

_Instructions and such. Don't look too into it. _

Che. Instructions his ass.

_Were? ;D _

_You mean where, Marui. _

Marui glared at Jackal, who shrugged in reply.

_Tell me the site _

_Redtube. *_

Marui's eyes widened and he started to cough, choking on his own saliva in surprise. He slammed the desk with his fist and stood up, startling everyone.

"Marui-san, do you have anything to say?" The teacher asked impatiently.

"No sensei, not at all!" Marui scrambled back to his seat, staring at Jackal the whole time.

"What is that you have in your hand?" Her heels left striking footsteps as she walked over and snatched the paper out of his hands.

_Oh shit. _The doubles partners thought simultaneously in their minds.

***Redtube: Basically, it's like Youtube, except with porn. =P **


End file.
